what the crap do i care?
by julamei
Summary: Natsu reflects on his relationship with Lucy, while stealing her away on another partner mission for Team Natsu. Short and sweet NaLu.


AN: I take a couple liberties with this… Okay, I make some stuff up, but I don't think it messes with the story too much. Forgive me? Mostly I wrote this to try to understand/explain/justify my NaLu ship. Hope you enjoy : )

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><p>"<em>Loki?"<em>

"_Yeah, he was a stellar spirit apparently, and Lucy saved him."_

"_Everytime she's in trouble, he finds a way to save her."_

Now, I've heard a lot of rumours about Loki and plenty about Lucy, but recently there's been an influx of rumours about the two of them together. Loki always smelled differently than most other people, but what the fuck did I care? Apparently, since Lucy is the only girl he can be around now, his considerable womanizing has been completely focused on her.

And again, what the fuck do I care? Lucy has people – male and female – fawning over her constantly (like most of the women in Fairy Tail, they're just really pretty). In some ways, her killer body is a curse; so many people just stop looking at her once they absorb her hotness. Being me, I've been surrounded by beautiful women my whole life. Lucy's looks are dangerously attractive, but I don't notice them all that much. She's Lucy, my best friend and partner.

"_She's so lucky – Loki's such a romantic! I bet he spoils her."_

"_Yeah, he probably brings her flowers all the time."_

I work hard to keep the snort in, but a choking noise escapes my throat nonetheless. Seriously, these people have no idea… And their imagination! As if Lucy cares about flowers…

I've had about enough as I can handle, so I find myself stomping over to the mission board. I want to go on another S-Class mission, but I know that the old man's heart can't take another one so soon. The way things have been going, though, he's gonna have to let me at that board – I've been unstoppable recently!

Snagging a semi-decently paying mission (Lucy has some serious rent issues) that looks interesting enough, I call a "C'mon, Happy!"and walk out of the bar. It's getting late anyways.

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><p>"What'dya think, Happy? You think Lucy will like this one? It's 50,000 Jewel reward for finding and destroying whatever is mucking up this person's yard."<p>

Happy quips an easy "Aye!" in response, and we amble the rest of the way in companiable silence. It's a nice walk from the guild, not too far but not too close, and I've always liked the river that runs through Magnolia. It makes me feel like I'm back in the forest, and the town accommodates it and works around it the way nature does.

I stand momentarily on the sidewalk, looking up at the light in her windows and the curtains just barely dancing out of them. A strange feeling always washes over me right there - I can just barely smell a hint of her and her apartment, but it's always there, and it's something like anticipation and happiness that guides my body effortlessly face of her building. The climb is as familiar as my walk to the guild hall, and I don't even notice I've done it until my fingers are grasping the edge of her window pane and my feet are pressed against the facade. Happy hovers at my shoulder and I can't help but take a deep breath, sucking in and enjoying the scent of Lucy and books and sheets and soap. Soap, huh?

I pull myself as gently as possible over the lip of the window and give Happy the quiet signal because I know she's doing dishes right now. Her quiet humming is enough distraction that I can walk up right behind her. I raise my hands to grab her and yell boo, but pause… Images of flying pans and soapy eyes flash through my head. I hover behind her for a moment, debating what to do when she moves to put something into a cupboard and knocks into me. She screams (so satisfyingly) and drops a stack of small plates to the floor. Where they promptly break. All of them.

And I can barely notice the mess through the tears of my laughter.

"Natsu! What kind of asshole does that to a friend?" Lucy cries with a hand to her heart and the other against her forehead. She breathing hard and blushing and it's awesome.

"Luce, it was so worth it," I reply, still grabbing my sides with mirth. I watch her face harden and she steels herself before she lets out a huge "GET OUT! RIGHT NOW!"

"Now, Lucy, Happy and I had a reason to come over—"

"We did?" Happy asks. Lucy turns her rage-filed gaze to our flying cat, who meekly picks out from behind the leg of a chair. Little coward.

"Happy—!" She starts, but I cut her off. Scaring her was super fun, but it's time for business.

"Well, Lucy, I guess we have to make up the money to buy more plates," I say, looking pointedly to the shattered porcelain on her tile floor. Her swelling rage sags out of her and she sighs.

"I guess so," she says and moves to clean up the floor. I wave her off and pick up the pieces myself. She sets herself in front of the sink and continues washing dishes.

"I just so happen to have a mission on me, and I say we leave first thing in the morning!"

"Oh?" She says. "What kind of mission?" Happy prances over and flies onto the countertop, then begins to blow on the dishes in the drying rack.

"Eh, some simple thing about cutting someone's grass or something, but it's in the next town over. I feel like a nice walk through the woods."

Lucy gives me a look that tells me she doesn't believe me. "No really!" I say, trying to be convincing and honest. "It should be a piece of cake, and it's for 50,000 Jewels!"

I dump the last of the broken plates into her garbage and walk over to the drying rack. Fluffing Happy's fur absently, I pick up the dishes and dry each easily with my kickass fire power before stacking them.

Lucy whistles. "50,000 Jewels is quite the reward. Are you sure it's not going to be too difficult? You don't need me because I'm blonde or anything, right?"

"Lucy, why are you so suspicious! That was one time!" She laughs. "Sure, sure." Then hits me for good measure. We finish in her kitchen and we move to her living area.

She plops down on her bed and yawns. "So what time do you think we need to leave?" She asks, scratching the back of her head. She groans and rocks herself back up onto her feet, and I watch as she gathers her things for her nightly bath.

"Just whenever you get up," I reply. I make myself comfortable on her vacated bed, and Happy settles down next to me. She glares at us but doesn't say anything. I smile inwardly because she's finally softening against our presence. Or she's just going to be beat me up after the bath, who knows.

"Well that's not very precise. Do I have time to—"

I cut her off. "No, I will be here as soon as you wake up, and then we're packing and leaving. I've got my stuff right here as always, anyway," I say, patting my trusty napsack of essentials and my sleeping roll.

Lucy rolls her eyes. "Well don't get too comfortable, you're not sleeping here tonight!" She says as she draws the curtain to her bathroom.

I sigh and lie down on her bed. Lucy's blankets and pillows smell amazing, and Happy's already curled up on her other pillow. Something warm hums contentedly in my chest. I listen to her movements in the bathroom – she starts to hum again – and with the heat of the steam trickling over me, I close my eyes.

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><p>I wake up quite a long time later, on the floor next to her bed with blankets and a pillow of my own. Lucy must've moved me after her bath (but she let me stay!). I sit up, looking for Happy, and then stand. Lucy is fast asleep curled up in her bed, and Happy sleeps snuggled up with her. I glare at that lucky fucking cat, then snap still when Lucy lets out a whimper and coils tighter with Happy. I must've growled or something. I better be more careful, or Lucy'll wake up and kill me! And then Happy!<p>

I grab some water from the sink then hunker back down onto my make-shift bed. I pause mid-crouch, then get up again. Slowly lean over Lucy, I stroke some fingers her hair because it looks so shiny and I know she works hard to take care of it. It's cool and so soft. She hums and turns her head to follow my hand. I smile as something really nice blooms through me, and I bend forward to kiss her forehead softly (don't fucking ask me why, I don't know). Up close she smells even better because there's a hint of heat to her skin. She hums once more than rolls completely over to face me. She doesn't wake up, even though I'm holding my breath and I swear I've even stilled the blood in my veins as I wait another couple moments to make sure. Thank god she stayed asleep!

I let out my breath – silently – and am about to finally go back to bed myself when I catch sight of Happy watching me. Stupid cat! He winks knowingly at me, then curls up against the back of Lucy's neck. Lucky fucking animal gets to sleep next to her! I'm too tired to muster up a real lethal glare, so I just stick my tongue out at him, then lay down with my borrowed blankets and pillow.

As I settle in, I get a hint of Lucy's scent on the items and fall asleep with a smile on my face.

"Lucy, what made you want to join Fairy Tail so bad anyway?" I ask, looking over at her. We got a late start – there was a lot of yelling and faux-violence when Lucy woke up and found me and Happy still here. We decided to camp for the night, then arrive in the morning instead of walking the night through. "I mean, I know it's the best guild out there, but I grew up there. How'd you know that?"

I watch the glow from the fire shift across her skin. She smiles a small smile and bites her lip. She tilts her face back and takes a deep breath, as if she's trying to drink in the sky. I briefly imagine her as a dragon slayer, eating up the stars to refuel.

"Do you know the constellations, Natsu?" She says softly, reaching a hand up like she's trying to caress them. I set the bones of my meal down, put out the fire, and walk over to her. I sit with a huff next to her knees and lean back, pointing to some cluster of starts and tracing out a pattern.

"Igneel did his best to teach me, but I've forgotten a lot of them besides the real important ones. I know this is the Big Dipper, because it points to the North Star." I glance back at her and see her watching my fingers with a smile. "Yeah, Igneel made sure I never forgot those because now I can never get lost."

She nods, and I continue. "This is Draco, the Dragon, and yeah, I always remember that one too, obviously." I pause and search the sky. A lot of them look familiar, but I forget most of the complete patterns. Happy flies around in front of us, pointing to the stars I indicate for emphasis.

"That one there and there," I continue, pointing to two bright stars, "are planets…" My brow furrows as I grasp to explain how I know. "They're brighter than the others and their light doesn't flicker like the rest. And that one's a little a reddish, so he's Mars."

Lucy giggles and claps with delight. _Another reason I like Lucy, _I think. She's always quick to enjoy herself and be happy, and share that with others.

"I'm impressed, Natsu," she says. "Aye!" agrees Happy. I nod my head, _damn straight_, and Lucy leans down to put a hand on my shoulder.

"These stars here," she begins, tracing the outline of a "W" with her other hand, "are Cassiopeia. She's one of my favorites because you can always find her in the sky, like the Big Dipper. She was a really beautiful queen, and she always bragged about how gorgeous she was, so they put up in the sky upside down to punish her for her pride for all eternity." Lucy ends her story with a shudder. "Poor lady," she says.

"And, you'll like this one, these three here," she pauses and points, "are Orion's belt, and the stars below are his sword and legs. The ones up above are his shoulders and head. He's holding a bow and trying to defeat…" she shift a little and motions toward a "V" in the sky just in front of Orion. "He's trying to beat Taurus!" She laughs and I join her. "It gets better! He's hunting Taurus because he's trying to protect the Seven Sisters, there, who Taurus follows throughout the night. He's always been a pervert! It's not just me!"

I lean back all the way and lay on the ground, putting my hands behind my head to just enjoy the view. There was only a sliver of a moon tonight and it set already. Lucy smiles and lies down next to me, and Happy settles between us. I never stop to think about it, but once I met Lucy, the urge to find Igneel hasn't burned so badly. Igneel is and always will be my family, but Lucy feels like home too, now. I've always been a part of Fairy Tail – they've always been a family to me – but Lucy makes me feel like I belong there even more now. It's weird, and hard to explain.

"My mother was a mage, and she always wanted to be in Fairy Tail." She says into the silence. "She used to tell me stories about them, and whenever they did something crazy she always showed me the picture in the magazine and read me the article. It all looked like so much fun, I used to dream about it once it was just me and my dad. After she died, Fairy Tail felt like an ideal that I would never be able to touch – a place full of love and freedom and crazy adventures. A family people made for themselves… it sounded so wonderful."

I try not to think about Lucy's life before Fairy Tail. I always had Igneel, and once he left, I was surrounded by people at the guild. Lucy never had anyone after her mother died, except for the servants. She never went to school, couldn't play with neighbors… it seems horrible. I don't know how she ended up how she is, full of light. Her smile can literally make someone's day. Hell, it's made my day a heck of a lot of times.

"But you made it," I say. "You made it to Fairy Tail and you'll always be Fairy Tail now."

She looks at her hand, and traces the outline of our guild's logo. "I hope that's true. I never want to leave," she says quietly.

I sit up. "Oh, come on, Luce. Are you kidding me?" She turns her head away and moves to curl up her body. I growl and Happy squeaks and runs to Lucy's other side. "Lucy, you're so weird!" he says.

"Yeah, Lucy, you're a total weirdo," I say, grabbing her shoulders and hoisting her body up to face mine. I fix her with a deadly stare, a super serious deadly stare, and say, "Don't give me this bullshit about not being a powerful mage," I say in this really stern voice. I'd definitely listen to me.

Lucy's like me; she's as powerful as she believes she is. Hers is an unconditional heart. It's what first drew me to her. After that huge, delicious meal she paid for, I couldn't let a heart like hers walk away. In our team, Lucy has the unreserved heart, Erza has the unbeatable heart, Gray has… insurmountable pride, I guess… and me? I'm just frickin awesome. I'd say I'm battle-hungry, but I know the others would call it rage. But they respect it, so whatever.

Lucy tries to look away but I won't let her. I growl again, and she huffs out her breath in frustration. "Natsu! I can't help it. I try my best not to use my celestial spirits as shields, I've gotten better at fighting beside them, but I'll never be able to do what you or Erza or Gray can do. I'm just not a fighter like that."

The fact that Lucy doesn't think she's strong enough to be part of our team makes me crazy. She doesn't realise we wouldn't have a team without her! Gray, Erza, and I might have grown up together, but we don't mesh well. There's no way the three of us could get along long enough to do anything productive together. I'd fought them both before, but never fought with them until Lucy. With Lucy… there's a flow and a warmth and our team just clicks. And anyway, it's Team Natsu wherever she and I are (and Happy, of course). We're the original members, and we're the bones of the team. Look at us now, trekking out on our own together.

"It's good that your first instinct isn't violence, Luce," I say. "That's what you have me and Erza and Grey for. We need you to keep us together, to make sure we don't overstep ourselves or get too hot-headed. You're there to protect us from our enemies and from ourselves."

"Aye, Lucy!" Happy chirps in. "You're like weird, loud glue! You and me, we keep the team together!" Lucy can't help but smile at Happy and me. She wipes away her tears and laughs a little. "If you guys say so," she says. "And I'm not that weird!" She yells at Happy. I sleep next to Lucy tonight, too, with Happy.

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><p>Well, we only got half of the 50,000 Jewel reward because we found out what was destroying the old man's garden (it was a toddler troll that had wandered away from her family. Lucy and I caught it and brought her back to her creepy troll family, but since we didn't "destroy" her like the flier asked, we didn't get the whole reward. Stingy bastards.)<p>

Now as I sit at the guild hall and listen to the rumours about Lucy, I just smile. I love my Fairy Tail members, but they can be such idiots. Lucy's just not some girl looking for love. If Lucy wanted a boyfriend, she'd have one. She wants adventure and fun, just like I do.

I look at her over at the bar, talking with MiraJane as if none of the boys are peeking glances at her. For as self-conscious (and conceited) as she can act, she really couldn't care less half the time. She smiles at something MiraJane says and I have to work hard to keep an answering grin off my face. It's just like that with us.

We're best friends, teammates, and partners. She's all those things and more, because she's become my family somehow, somewhen. Something catches her attention, and she looks over at me. She smiles at me and waves, as if to say 'I didn't forget about you.' I nod at her. Neither of us wants a relationship, not right now, but I just know she'll be there when I'm ready, and I'll be there when she is. I know exactly where she is, all the time, regardless of if I'm actually looking for her. She's just a part of me; I actively seek her out, half the time I don't even mean to, and I know she does the same. It's just the way we are.

The only thing distinctive about Loki, I want to tell those gossiping idiots, is that he simply realised how distinctive, how special, Lucy is. I almost feel bad for the guy; when he had a chance to get to know her, he only saw her killer looks (like all these other shitheads). Now, he knows how big her heart is and how wonderful it feels to be loved by her. He'll always be with her as a stellar spirit, but he'll never be able to be together with her. I've known Lucy was special since the moment I met her, and I'll make sure I'll always have her by my side.

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><p>.<p> 


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